A Lifetime of Regret

June 30, 2009
By Anonymous

In life there are some moments we want to remember for as long as we live.
And there are also those moments, in which we would give anything to forget.

Too bad the more we try to hold onto those good, happy memories, the more they long to be free, and fight to escape us.

And the moments we could do without, well those are the moments that haunt us, that unrelentingly follow us...and never let us forget.

I was young once. It was so long ago, that to try and look back and visit that time feels as though I’m swimming through an eternity of thought. When I look into a mirror and try to remember the smooth, glowing skin of youth, and the carefree grin that I used to wear…all I see is the face of a stranger.

I can however, remember the exact moment in which my youth was ripped from my grasp. My regret, like a poison, with no antidote. One that seeped throughout my body turning it cold and unfeeling. From that moment onwards I could no longer run with the freedom of being unrestrained, and unbound by responsibility. I grew up in that one instant, and was forever afterwards in chains. My guilt kept me prisoner.

The crash of beer bottles, tossed out the window. The intoxicated laughs; the blinding lights, screeching tires….and the never ending scream. A scream of terror, so piercing my ears cried back in agony. I wanted it to stop.
I wanted the person to stop screaming, just to stop…it hurt so much.
Why wouldn’t they stop?
Didn’t they realise their scream was torturing me?

I gasped for air...and all of a sudden everything was silent.
The person screaming
had been me.

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