Life in My Head

June 9, 2009
By Anonymous

Once the world around me gets tuned out
I leave my thoughts free to roam about
Up and down side to side
I prepare my self for a wild ride.

A look into a picture sends me into the past
A jump-roping grandpa and watching her cast
With all these rhymes on every line
I go further and further back in time
Watching as Mocha frolics and plays
Remembering how Marshmello could make my day.

But farther inside, happiness is pushed away
And I remember where I now stay
My heart longs for the day
I go home to my family
And wake up to my mom’s voice and volleyball with dad
I think those were the best days I ever had.

I didn’t recognize what I had
A loving family that not everyone has
But now I know and I’m dying to go
And thank them for all they do
Even when we stumble and stew
The love we share will always push through.

The love and the tears
The passion of the years
Haunt me at night
Coming back in my dreams
To tease me and taunt me with what I can’t have
Can you not hear as I split the night with my silent screams?

As each silver drop falls
I try hard not to recall
The razors the scissors the blood and the scars.
A look at my arm
Is like a silent alarm
Ringing the past regrets

No more will I be followed
And no more will I be hollowed
By the self hate that can never wait
And seemingly impossible to break.
No more will I hurt my family and friends
Watch me now as I conquer and end
The grasp of the past and move to the future
Never again to see life in the dark
Not every day will be like that day in the park
But I’m ready and prepared to handle it all
Even with the farthest fall.

The love of a family will push me along
New skills and determination will hold me strong
The will to live a caring life
Will steer me away from all the strife

I put down the razor the lies and the hate
I'm ready to see what life can be
And move on to my family
The day I leave seems ever so distant
It feels like I need my family this instant

It’s now hard to remember the feel of my bed
The running into walls and knocks on my head
I don’t miss all the life I lead before
Mistakes I made pushed me to these doors
I learned I conquered
Now I'm ready to start over
And finally find out how life can really be.

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