It hurts so bad.
It hurts so bad to keep it inside.
The scream just waiting in the front of your brain to release itself.
Every time you speak,
It tries to come out,
But you won’t let it.
You shut it in,
And lock it away.
But you keep the key somewhere safe in case you want to let it out on your own.
Just in case you need to release some.
Right before your head explodes and you can’t remember your birthday,
Or your friends.
You can’t forget to release some every so often,
Or it will release itself.
Then everyone will know.
Everyone will hear that scream.
They’ll all know you’re crazy.
Then you’re done with.
A few wrist slashes every so often,
Maybe some binging and purging.
That scream gets out,
But not always under your control.
The internal pain builds and folds a wall over your heart.
The wall is big enough to shadow you from your friends,
But let you see just what you’re missing.
You’ll feel hurt and more pain will build.
You’ll have to release more.
Then you’re broken.
The internal pain wins again
And the shards of what you used to call your life fall to the floor.
Just as things start to look up,
They always get worse.
Always.