YOU ARE HALF THE FRIEND YOU USED TO BE

Every day
I seem to knocking on the wrong doors
In fact
I keep knocking on the same door
Shelter of a real skinny ***
Dressed in brand name clothing
Telling me she's broke
When her mother waves bills at her
Like she just found them lying on the floor
Stealing money from the elderly
Like you deserve it

And you don't know how much
I wish
That I knew
If you even knew what was going on
Why my mother has had enough
And why my brother won’t even take another look at you
But my father keeps tabs on you
Because your father is his younger brother

The next time we meet
I'll welcome you
And you'll welcome me
With a smile like you’re used to
I don’t even know how plastic it would be

If I could stitch your lips together, I would
Making sure you’d never have the guts
To utter a single word

I can’t tell if you’re being sincere or
Just whispering another Lie
Because you’re good at faking it

I want to hurt you
A lot
But it’s a sin for me to think that way
So I’ll smile back like I used to
Because it seems like you know nothing
Nothing about your greedy mother,
Nothing about the thief you call your father,
And how much I hate that you’re still friends
With the girl I’ve hated for most of my life

I’ve never told you
I may have hinted
Yet I don’t want to blame you

But sometimes I think about
What you have
Despite where you get it from
And for a moment I wished that I was you

Most of all
I don’t want to be the one breaking down that doorknob
Just because
You’re half the friend you used to be