In Search of Thoreau and Self

I lean over the breakfast
Table the morning is
Bright I am afraid of
Solitude these fears are
Unfounded paranoia is a part of
Myself I can't control it and it is
Hated I want to be sane in this crazy
World maybe someday I will be shown
How that might be the deciding factor in my
Humanity this is the beginning, I
Think I can wait for a someone from now until
Forever one day I will receieve a
Call it will be for me and I will not know what to
Do I eat my eggs slowly chewing each
Bite the flavors explode in my
Mouth I ponder my own
Existentialism I reach for the
Toast my dog bounds into the
Room I pet him, albeit
Absentmindedly he doesn't seem to
Notice my thoughts are
Elsewhere and I don't seem to
Care that is my life and this is
Eternal life death and taxes are
Certain solitude should be included in that
Statement it gives one time to
Reflect I chew my toast, thinking and not
Thinking maybe it falls upon us to only
Exist when we find the other person our prerogative
Changes the sun rises over the misty
Lake I see a kayak among the
Geese and I break out in a
Smile there is no solitude for
Anyone the kayaker is among the
Geese I am among my
Dog at this moment that is all I seem to
Need I am happy until I am finished
Eating the phone rings as I put the last dish in the
Dishwasher I pick it up and say
Hello the voice on the other end says It's
Me suddenly I can't
Breathe.