self portrait

August 13, 2009
By Jennax3 SILVER, Palos Verdes Estates, California
Jennax3 SILVER, Palos Verdes Estates, California
6 articles 0 photos 114 comments

i painted a man
with distorted features
fringed by incessant streaks
and eyes dripping of despair.

there was a soiled mirror
intended for introspection
and a washbasin for cogitation
beneath a clamped wristwatch.

the man was static, melancholy,
clutching his head
in a defeated manner;
a classical pose, one might say.

and for this purpose, i will divulge
that the man is me.
you see, there was simply
no one left to paint

since everybody else has died.



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This article has 14 comments.


krzykrys GOLD said...
on Nov. 25 2009 at 9:24 pm
krzykrys GOLD, Baldwinsville, New York
15 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
i have many favorite quotes

hey great piece, the end was a surprise and thanks for the comment on my spring days poem!

Yoodle15 said...
on Nov. 11 2009 at 12:08 pm
The details are awesome! =) I love all of your works! Bet you have a great writing career ahead of you!

on Oct. 26 2009 at 5:57 am
ThereIsAlwaysHope GOLD, Belfast, Other
19 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Miles to go before I sleep'
- Robert Frost

the last line was a real surprise.

well done, this is an awesome, original piece :)

on Oct. 18 2009 at 5:17 pm
carolinesell PLATINUM, Cedar Falls, Iowa
28 articles 0 photos 42 comments
i agree, the end was surprising.

i like it though--it is very original.

:) great job!

on Sep. 21 2009 at 5:52 pm
SilverDawn GOLD, Burnaby, Other
10 articles 0 photos 298 comments
wow, the last part was indeed a surprised and the detail you used is awesome. great work! (:

on Aug. 24 2009 at 8:50 pm
TheUnknownGuest GOLD, Woodbridge, Virginia
14 articles 4 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can't remember it clearly, but it went something like this:

"The past is the past, the future is the furture. But now, now is like a gift, which is why it is called present."

This is pretty good. It fits well.

on Aug. 24 2009 at 6:31 pm
Writerzhand GOLD, Ball Ground, Georgia
16 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
I wanna carry a piece of who I was before so when I hit the wall, I REALLY hit the wall.

This is really cool and deep. XD. Love!

on Aug. 22 2009 at 8:52 pm
kiwi12 PLATINUM, Austin, Texas
28 articles 10 photos 365 comments
Like, whoa.

Joanna said...
on Aug. 21 2009 at 5:00 pm
Joanna, St. Catharines, Other
0 articles 0 photos 165 comments
I can't believe the talent you have with words. Like EdytD, the last line really suprised me. I don't know what to say. You are beautiful and amazing, my friend.

on Aug. 21 2009 at 3:46 pm
Inkspired PLATINUM, Whitby, Other
26 articles 0 photos 493 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If one will scoff at the study of language, how, save in terms of language, will one scoff?" - Mario Pei
"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." Isaac Asimov

This is great, I like the way you make the man yourself, and the last line was a real surprise! Thanks for the comment!

Sanah BRONZE said...
on Aug. 20 2009 at 11:08 pm
Sanah BRONZE, Bridgewater, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportion" -Edgar Allan Poe

this is prolly the best one ive read so far.

on Aug. 20 2009 at 5:16 pm
wombatz-rule GOLD, Montrose, Minnesota
15 articles 0 photos 53 comments
This poem is really unique and makes the reader contemplate the lines you used--not everything is cut-and-dry, and I like that. Thank you for commenting on my poem, as well! Continue to write. You sure know how to.

on Aug. 20 2009 at 1:46 am
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

this was amazing. :) and i'm shocked i put your feelings in words. but thanks for the tip and the comment. :)

EdytD SILVER said...
on Aug. 19 2009 at 2:37 pm
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
I really liked how you made the man yourself - I thought that was an interesting spin. Before I read the last line, I had thought that you wanted the reader to relate to the man, alone. The last line is interesting and kind of an odd spin, but it definitely gives the reader something to think about! I had thought that there were other people, but that, say, they were outside - and he was alone in his bathroom, watching them. If you wanted, instead of saying "has died," you can say "has gone," which will convey both death and just absence from his world.



I really liked the dramatic style and strong wording; great job! :D

And thanks for the comments!




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