~I’m under your patrol~

This pain that dwells inside me is hot-boxing my shell,
My shell is just this body, made for this reality of hell.
The shells we use expire around 100 years,
And before this day approaches there’s a quiet task we hear.
A task that each shell has to complete before that date,
All of us shells complete the mission were given,
The word for this is fate.
Whatever happens to us in this life is already pathed and planed.
We cant control what we don’t know, and if we knew it wouldn’t matter, what’s planed is planed here in this land.
But there is one other way to alter and change your fate,
An event that people turn to when life they start to hate.
This choice that I speak of has an ill-sounding name,
Suicides what humans call it, a lose lose game.
See when a human attempts to off its like spitting in gods face,
The love and energy it took to make you was a complete and disappointing waste.
Then when you walk with the lord for that first special talk,
He’ll tell you straight forward “You can not be forgiven, so walk”
So what do you do then your only chance was your life,
Your soul dwells in “not heaven”, in an unpeaceful, confused afterlife.
The home of your creator and your not welcomed in,
Eternal life’s a long time for a single selfish sin.
So now look at it this way and take a step or two back,
If a human being seriously considered this option, something other then the human is a bit out of wack.
How could life be so painful that the easier choice is to die, it dosnt even sound possible,
Id say that its not but Im not gana lie.
Tell me, why this power that’s god who paths and sets our fate,
Would create a life that’s so unbearable that natural death cant wait.
To be honest in my opinion I feel god can sin as well,
For him to dame a humans lifetime is an action from what I call hell.
But then I think deeper and look at what’s real,
World perfections impossible, so the dammed just have to deal.
If this world we dwell in had no evil, and there wasn’t an ounce of bad,
Everything would already be perfect with nothing to work for,
We would all get board depressed and sad.
I know that every human receives the life that you draw,
But tell me why the card you drew for me was cold and raw.
I haven’t really tried yet to take my life away,
I just hope things get better before there comes a day.
So lord please use this power you have in your control,
To fix my life or peacefully take it,
I’m under your patrol.