The substance that clears my mind

April 26, 2009
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It empties my heart and soul and makes my pain leave with sorrow.
It makes me feel as if nothing else matters but easing my distress.
I feel as if nothing can stop me, I’m full of power and strength.
But soon after my exhilarating high my world comes crashing down all around me and I lose all of my true self.
I begin to feel as if I am the only one who understands my pain and agony.
I begin to sob painfully acknowledging my inadequateness in this world.
My mind zeros in on how insignificant I truly am and how instead of caring everyone just overlooks me as if I am an animal wounded on the side of the road, to dirty to provide much needed assistance, yet to intriguing to overlook.
So with nothing left to do I continue my rampage of abuse to make my pain subside.
And once again my heart and soul become empty and my evils are buried deeper and deeper.
The substance that I once used to get rite of my pain now merely adds to it.
I wish that I could just take the bottle of my tribulations and let free into the ocean where they can never find me again.
But it is not as easy as I desire it to be but I have faith that I can overcome the substance that once cleared my mind, heart, and soul.
I hope and pray that the day were I can overcome my pain and agony without this substance comes soon so that I can finally just be me.

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