Thinking

August 11, 2009
as i sit at the desk
with my favorite song playing
while talking to my friends that are on vacation
i look out the window
into the sky
its rainning
i can hear it but so lightly
its early and no one is awake to make sound

i think to myself
what are you doing right now?
its about 10:30pm for u right?
are you going to sleep?
doing homework?
are you thinking about me?
what could you be doing?
do you miss me?
do you still love me?

its been 1 and 1/2 months sence i last saw you
my best friends are coming home soon
but what about you?
we still have 1/2 month to go before we see each other
i miss you but im not sure if i love you any more
my feelings have fading and are unknown to me
i cant tell what im feeling
but it think i might have fallen for some one else that ive already fallen for once

as i remember the past and all the guys i have fallen for
i realized that ive only really loved 3
the first one is competely over with me
and wants nothing to do with me
but im not able to move on from him
i still love him
the second one, we both were over and moved one
we became friends again and everything seemed fine
no one was hurt or scared
but being all friendly is how it began before and now its coming back
the third one, im dating right now
he is so easy
i could just love him and everythin would be great
but i just dont feel the connection i did with the first one
why is that?
you are so perfect and everything i want
but why isnt this good enough for me?
i love him
i really love him
but i cant feel a connection?

i guess i just love them
but im not in love with them
now i understand that





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