Past the Point of No Return

August 10, 2009
By Anonymous

I've never done anything like this before.
Every stupid decision I've made in my long history of stupid decisions has been carefully and painstakingly premeditated.
I don't know what I'm doing here.

But just that sight of your rare smile today,
and a love story from my favorite author
and all my common sense flew out the window.

I never fancied myself a romantic.
So then what am I doing, picking wildflowers, imagining your smile and humming my bittersweet tune.
Rejection looms in my mind, but I am all but over the cliff.
I know I'm not turning back, as surely as I know that I'm making a bad choice.
Too bad.

I know relationships in just don't work.
I could calculate the probability over and over til I am utterly convinced that single life is the only way to happiness.
But my heart has other ideas.

And so, here I am, walking as if in a dream, not knowing what I'll do after showing up on your doorstep with flowers in my hand.
I don't know what I'll say.
Yet I can feel this is what I need to do, what I will do, what I might regret, but what I have to do.
I'm past the point of no return.

The doorbell makes no sound as my body stands on red alert while my mind remains in a trance.
The door opens and thankfully, it's you and not a stranger wondering who this stalker is.
But maybe having you answer is worse.

Past the point of no return.
All I have to offer is my head, my heart, some daisies, and a promise to try.
Can that be enough to win your smile?


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