I feel numb inside and out
I know this with out a doubt.


I lock my feelings behind a door.
But always wanting to get rid of more.


I open this door up instead.
As I sit with my body as still as lead.


The first I feel is hate.
because its my life I cant take


Then there is strife.
And my thoughts of my screwed up life.


The depression, tears. And hurt.
and i sat there feeling like dirt.


I feel locked in a black hole.
No way out but a very slippery pole.


To climb the pole would be hurt full and long.
But after a few tries all I did was fall


Fall back into the dirt.
And ending up even more hurt.


I slam the door shut as pain fills my mind.
I searched for my soul tofinnally see its realy my heart I cant find.