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Much a Thought About Nothing (abridged)

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We never realize do we?!
And when we do,
It’s gone like smoke
How can YOU exist so easily?!

Because I’m over here just trying to be!
Just trying to breathe!
Just existing in this …
Whatever this is that I can’t see!

Why am I so amazed?!
What makes me feel wonder!
Why isn’t it sweet like before?!
Why should I feel so crazed?!

Hold me down!
Hold me down! Hold me down!
Hold me Down!
Hold me!

Why do I exist here, and you there
In your sanctuary
How are you so, relaxed… so calm!
While I’m here feeling so bare

So raw is what my mind is!
Then the next moment it’s so warm
Then as soon…
So quiet and lifeless

But it can’t be lifeless!
Because it is!
It is! And I am.
And that makes me oh so restless!

I don’t Sleep!
But you!
All of you, sleep so easily!
What is this soothing that you keep?!

Who was it that gifted you all”?!
What is it that I’m without?!
Why me, with what is it do I flow?!
Whom am I to call?!

Barren! all my soil Is!
What is it!
Hold me down!
DO you find this hilarious?!

Don’t panic, Don’t panic
Why the hell not?!
Don’t you see?! don’t you see?!
Don’t you see this, what we plan, is?!

We were we, and they were they
Now, they are who and Where are we?!
Where are you , and what do you see?!
All I want to do, is hear you say

Again.

Anything that was… what was!
And everything that was, where we were
So that it may be like it were
And I may be, that way again… just cause

I was, and was, - was was so beautiful
So much so that I cry as I write
And now I breathe and memory gone
SO much in one, but only once have I felt full!

Ony once!
No maybe it was twice!
No Only once
Only that once

Everything calm, with me in control
Now who am I, to take hold of this
This, this ALL
This “ALL,” Would I, could I ever be so drole?

What Am I?
Was There you?
Was there us
Or was is it London passing by?

I am Crazed, but not insane
I Feel, but I don’t need
I want, but I don’t Love
I loved, But all in vain

Hold Me DOWN!
Hold ME Down!
Hold ME Down!
Hold me…!

God grace us with being
And this captivity so freeing
That when I paint I feel it fleeing
And no one will be reading!

no ONE Hears me cry
No ONE takes my advice
No ONE asks so much why
Why I never smiled when they said “hi”

This garbage I’ve produced
This rant that I’ve abused
This train that’s cut loose!
Whose is it to choke and noose!?

Who will calm me next!?
And in between who’ll give me breath?
And then, who’ll give me rest!?
And who, who the hell is correct?

Who?! no where is best?!
Away in the past
Or here in this lonliness
And you, haha! You say I need rest!

Oh no! You’ll never understand!
I won’t move any of you!
You nor I will ever be the same
And because of this I AM insane
And this heart, it has no name
And this love it was, but does it fade?
And the bell, it surly does clang
That I may never remain
As I am, as I am in plain
As I am in this refrain
Can I ever “became”
The day I was tame
That second drew me lame
That kiss of truth to blame
Sweet blessing that ignites, the pain
The sweet, sweet bain
That still to this damned day remains
The spark behind the flames
Of nothing inside it ALL
And All of it in one
And One outside of none
And none into Some
And Some into not
And not, not What?!
I still have no idea…

SO you see!
I don’t know!
And you will never grasp!
The world will never care, never gasp!
So hold me down!
Hold me down!
Hold me down!
Hold me down!
Hold me down!
Hold me.. . and maybe I’ll forget.





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