Green Envy

What is that mark on your arm?
How long has it been there?
It’s pink, slightly scabbed over.
I thought you said you stopped
For him, because you need him
To notice everything about how perfect you are
You cut, and it almost brings me to tears.
You have everthing I could want
You are everything I’m not.
You are tall, beautiful
You are not afraid
To say things
That are
On
Your
Mind, for
That is how you are
I can never be like that, I’m
Just not that way. At least the guy
You like notices you. Think about how
I can never have what you have. So why
Do you have to cut?
You have nothing to
Be sad over, not like
Me. I have the world
Against me, like the
Blade against your skin.


I hope you know, that
When you cut during
Science class, I get sick
I feel nauseous beyond
Belief. Why can you
Do that and I can’t?
I wish I could tell you how much I envy you
How you have the perseverance
And the strength to deal
With the pain you
Inflict
On
Your
Arm, It
Makes me
Sick, how you can
Make such sense of your
life, and turn it magically into
The blood that fills your sink. I really
Do, I envy you, to be able to deal with life
On the inside, I am Eric
Harris, Columbine shooter,
Without the follow-through
I’m suffocated in problems
That I have no hope of solving
Ever, never ever. Unlike you.