Why Not Me?

August 6, 2009
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I suppose you're right where you want to be. I suppose I've been waiting too long. The cards you held up your flannel sleeve have burned. So strut down the florescent sidewalk that leads to everything you've ever idolized. I won't be there. Though, if your discontent furthers, I know she'll wait for you. Publicity and vanity long for your blood. They wait for your sacrifice. Waltz into your fantasies with a widened grin. Your ego grows and spreads. You'll never have the priveledge to harvest the fruits of respect. I see them pity you. I used to trail behind. I nodded and replied with agreement and the adoration you feed on. I reached for the approval and love that I thought fate would bring. And you swiped my hand away with a cold force. Stubborness held its advantage on the both of us. I kept on reaching for one ounce of closeness between us. You only took one step onward, leaving me at the base. I didn't want to annoy you, but you kept leaving me wanting something else. And I didn't know how to attain it. So dance to the music of a new summer. The people will clap and you will wave with pride. But you will not see me amongst the crowd. You will see only the reflection of you.

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