In Memorium

July 24, 2009
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Tonight his black hazy hands lay at rest
unlike oh so long ago he awoke
and put us through the ultimate test
My uncle's life he threatened to take
but no payment we knew how to make
in the midst of the night all clad in black
silent tears never slacked
We all came and paid our respects
as his life blew away speck by speck
there is a pain that knows no end
some say that only time can mend
Now i know he is in the sky
and bringing him back would be like finding the island that flies

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amyxu said...
Sept. 22, 2009 at 6:43 pm
How wonderful to remember your uncle by writing a poem about him. Just a few suggestions, for clarity's sake. In the first line, the word "hazy" is a little confusing. There might be a better adjective to describe a person's hands. And also, "the island that flies" is a little vague. If it means heaven, then it is redundant because you already mentioned heaven by saying "he is in the sky." Anyway, it's a nice poem :)
Bebekidz replied...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 5:13 pm
well as for the word hazy i really couldn't think of any other ones but i meant to be vague about the last part because not everyone believes in the same thing i thought people could make of it as they will and im comparing bringing him back to life to finding heaven i doubt that'll ever happen because wonders have a way of finding you not the other way around
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