The Key Insides

July 24, 2009
By sbrooke BRONZE, Jacksonville, Florida
sbrooke BRONZE, Jacksonville, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I don't feel like writing a love song,
You're not near to hear it
It just feels wrong
I have begun to fear it

The ocean spray covers me
You are not near to feel it
One day I'll have the key
One day you'll feel it

Caught up so tight
Like a noose
I fear I might
Let it loose

But soon we will see
All we could be

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This article has 4 comments.

amyxu said...
on Aug. 12 2009 at 4:04 pm
Hey I like the poem. In the second stanza, instead of saying "You are" you could say "you're" because you do it that way in the first stanza. Just to make it consistent. I like the way you get to the point in this poem.

on Aug. 11 2009 at 9:46 pm
TheWaitress SILVER, Denton, Texas
8 articles 2 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather run away with my imagination than run away alone" - Me :)

I really enjoyed this! Please read and rate my poem, Suicidal Walk. I always enjoy poetry that rhymes it's just something that I think goes with poetry sometimes. This was somthing that could be expanded on I think but very nice job. Write more!

yuppypuppy said...
on Aug. 8 2009 at 3:31 pm
Great job!

on Aug. 8 2009 at 3:15 pm
bluejay31 SILVER, Scottsdale, Arizona
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments
Not bad...not bad at all. I liked this because it was short, got to the point, and simple. However, you could have added a little more descriptivness in it...but thinking about it, you may not have to, if you were trying to go with a simple and to the point poem. Overall, great job. Keep it up. Enjoyed it.

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