I have conditioned myself
With the best intentions
To purposely lead myself astray

From all that is good but still impure
That coagulate and coat my bones without sympathy
For the beautiful structures

So I drink coffee for the buzz
A little booze for the kill
I take my smokes, I take my pills

I cannot, I cannot
Swallow, for fear of what's to come
If I let it all down inside

I must avoid, or let it come up
Either way it won't do me good
Inside, to never vanish

And greedily I count
Every ounce I allow myself
To take, to consume, to eat

I will, I must have self-control
And know how it feels to feel
The perfection I obsess over