River Valley

July 13, 2009
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It gurgles and splashes in the moonlight
Drowning within itself
But it whispers dangerously on the brink of dawn
Reborn into a sharp new sword
Shining and beautiful, it slices the earth
Cutting deeper towards the heart of the mountain
Determined and facing straight ahead
It rushes into the battle
Forcefully shoving and pushing to its destiny
Yet its strength melts into a graceful flow
Until finally, tired and defeated
Does it embrace its brothers in death
Becoming one with a force far greater than it
Recruited into the ocean’s army.

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This article has 12 comments. Post your own now!

clearwater1408 said...
Dec. 12, 2009 at 3:50 pm
it was wonderful and had me seeing it in my head. no one can put a river in words as beautiful as this has
Jennaaa This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 17, 2009 at 7:29 pm
This was really interesting... what a unique metaphor! Not many people can describe a river valley as beautifully as this. good job :)
carolines This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 15, 2009 at 2:15 am
this is a beautiful poem!!!
it's wonderful because i love metaphors and all of those clever poetry things...alliteration, line breaks, not rhyming...
i love it!!!
(ps. wanna read some of my work?)
dreamer_believer said...
Aug. 6, 2009 at 2:58 am
looks like you have a lot of comments already but i really like this piece. i like all the metaphores because it gives the reader room for imagination. but you did a great job :) check out some more of my work and lemme know what you think :) and keep writing...you are great!
tor10jax said...
Aug. 3, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Like everyone else said, good job with this poem. The metaphors were really good and well written. I had to read it a few times to get a good of idea what was going on, but that's just me. Thanks for commenting on my poem. :D
Keep writing!
Sneha C said...
Aug. 1, 2009 at 8:45 am
Hey! ur poems r so awsome! keep it up! thank u very much for commenting in my poem. I'm Sneha C from India n 15 yrs old, nice to meet u!
MadisonC. said...
Jul. 31, 2009 at 5:48 pm
This is an amazing poem. You truly are talented! and thanks for your input on my other poem, sunset. i really appreciate your advice! keep up the good work!
MOhammed said...
Jul. 28, 2009 at 10:50 am
why cant i write this good! truly a poet:D
one_of_a_kind_girl said...
Jul. 26, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Wow, I love it. That is pure talent. I could never describe anything as well as you did in this poem.
MorningStar15 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2009 at 1:14 am
its a awesome poem good use of words
Torrzilla said...
Jul. 24, 2009 at 6:28 pm
"It gurgles and splashes in the moonlight Drowning within itself" ^_^ This has to be one of my most favorite lines ever. The poem is great. Nice work.
evil_naiad said...
Jul. 24, 2009 at 8:51 am
really nice imagery! :)
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