House of Pain | Teen Ink

House of Pain

January 23, 2009
By Anonymous

Night falls

And I couldn't get to sleep,

In this house,

In this bed,

Where I used to cry myself to sleep.

All of this reminded me of

The worst,

Best,

Fun,

Mean,

Only mom

I have ever had.

Laying bed with the ceiling fan on high,

Because of the heat,

Of the warm desert nights.

The clock is ticking

Tick, tock, tick, tock

The rhythm is now in my head.

As I do this every night.

That is every night I think about her.
Dozing off I think,

Was it my fault?

How could she just leave such a big part of her life behind?

Then I saw her,

Walking up the long lean drive way.

For the first time in years I felt so

Happy,

Excited,

Mad,

Hysterical I was.

Once more.

Then I remember,

Sitting on the porch,

A little past dinner time.

When grandma slammed the door open,

With such anger.

She tried so hard,

To convince me to come inside

And mom to come back.

But we both knew

It

Would

Not

Happen.

And for me to stop wasting my time.

Where were you were did you go?

It's been eight years and now I'm now

Sixteen.
Yet I still ask myself
Was it me?
Why did you leave
Such a big part of your life behind?
I lay here,
Here at night
In the same bed,
Same room,
Since I was four
When you left,
Let this heartbreak
And this huge scar in my life,
I've been in this house
Every holiday, and memorial,
With every memory,
Good and bad.
In this house
I like to call
My house of pain.


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