Sixteen Methods of Psychoanalyzing a Pig

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1
The neatly mowed lawns
Pink completely picked scabs
Run parallel to the open barn
In which pigs rub their snouts like matches.

2
Children unwrap little
Purple lips and marvel, eyes moist,
As the pig takes leave.

3
An upcoming young woman
In a bonnet decorated in daffodils
Strolled down the pavement and snickered
At the dry pig coughing with thirst.

4
Why bathe? The best solution
Is a mudfight against twenty pigs.

5
How intricate are the stars
Gleaming green shadows
As cool as pigskin.

6
Boy, am I bored.
Let’s conquer Central Park
And beat up innocent pigs
On family picnics.

7
Pork rinds disgust doctors.
They descended
From pigs, after all!

8
A blonde baby in a florid
Field of baby’s breath,
A magenta prairie,
Grew stale bacon for hair.

9
Is there anything
More godly, more sudden,
Than a castrated pig?

10
I must become wind.
I roll with dusty piglets.

11
Why did the piggy
Cross the road?
He didn’t.
I ate
Pig’s feet for
My midmorning snack.

12
A beefy white wolf
Came down from the mountain clouds,
Blew down the three pig’s home
Made simply from muck,
Grass, and twigs. The wolf
Was woolen; he gleamed
Like Santa’s beard. And he knocked
Down a lonely house
Like a whitewash blizzard. So,
The pigs put on black ski masks
And grabbed their semi-automatics
And stormed the wolf’s
Den like a SWAT team.

13
Every night my mother comes
Home droopy as sedated black dogs,
With black crescents glowing under
Her emerald eyes. She guzzles her cherry vodka
As I pig out on peanut butter.

14
My redheaded sister
Had pimples and a pig’s ***.
She oinked to me that my treehouse
High up at the forest roof
Was juvenile; I asked
If a pigsty would cater to her liking.

15
A pig bumped into me
As I sprinted to my next class.
I shoved him; he tackled
Me, hopped on top
Of my backpack and snorted
“I’m gonna eat you up
Like Canadian bacon.”
Appalled, I replied
“That’s what she said,”
And cried.

16
If Sarah Palin
Is a pig with lipstick,
She is one succulent
Portion of pork.





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