Sixteen Methods of Psychoanalyzing a Pig

July 7, 2009
By Shaan Chatterjee BRONZE, North Andover, Massachusetts
Shaan Chatterjee BRONZE, North Andover, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The neatly mowed lawns
Pink completely picked scabs
Run parallel to the open barn
In which pigs rub their snouts like matches.

Children unwrap little
Purple lips and marvel, eyes moist,
As the pig takes leave.

An upcoming young woman
In a bonnet decorated in daffodils
Strolled down the pavement and snickered
At the dry pig coughing with thirst.

Why bathe? The best solution
Is a mudfight against twenty pigs.

How intricate are the stars
Gleaming green shadows
As cool as pigskin.

Boy, am I bored.
Let’s conquer Central Park
And beat up innocent pigs
On family picnics.

Pork rinds disgust doctors.
They descended
From pigs, after all!

A blonde baby in a florid
Field of baby’s breath,
A magenta prairie,
Grew stale bacon for hair.

Is there anything
More godly, more sudden,
Than a castrated pig?

I must become wind.
I roll with dusty piglets.

Why did the piggy
Cross the road?
He didn’t.
I ate
Pig’s feet for
My midmorning snack.

A beefy white wolf
Came down from the mountain clouds,
Blew down the three pig’s home
Made simply from muck,
Grass, and twigs. The wolf
Was woolen; he gleamed
Like Santa’s beard. And he knocked
Down a lonely house
Like a whitewash blizzard. So,
The pigs put on black ski masks
And grabbed their semi-automatics
And stormed the wolf’s
Den like a SWAT team.

Every night my mother comes
Home droopy as sedated black dogs,
With black crescents glowing under
Her emerald eyes. She guzzles her cherry vodka
As I pig out on peanut butter.

My redheaded sister
Had pimples and a pig’s ***.
She oinked to me that my treehouse
High up at the forest roof
Was juvenile; I asked
If a pigsty would cater to her liking.

A pig bumped into me
As I sprinted to my next class.
I shoved him; he tackled
Me, hopped on top
Of my backpack and snorted
“I’m gonna eat you up
Like Canadian bacon.”
Appalled, I replied
“That’s what she said,”
And cried.

If Sarah Palin
Is a pig with lipstick,
She is one succulent
Portion of pork.

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