Black Spiral

spiraling downward,
faster and faster,
hypnotizing.

black and white,
all the same,
reliving the same day
over and over again.

falling,
deeper and deeper.
few hands, reaching for me.
voices speaking, meaning nothing to me.

words, sounding in my head.
haunting me,
every day,
every hour,
every minute.
they speak, but i don’t listen.

numb,
paralyzed.
feeling pain,
no longer hidden.

stabbing,
heart-wrenching,
pain.
like a knife slowly turning and going deeper into your flesh,
every day.

suffering,
depressed,
scared,
worried.

darkness looms closer every day.
closing in on me.
light gets farther away with every week that passes.
i slowly try to get out,
but it’s like quicksand, pulling me back.

i hate it here, yet it seems to be my home.
one thing keeping me grounded,
keeping me from going deeper.
somehow i see the light.
my only problem is,
i don’t know how to get there.

i try to find a path, to get of here.
but it is like trying to find a way out of a difficult maze.
feels like the world has turned against you.

there’s no turning back once you find a way out.
if it’s the wrong path,
then you’re screwed.
if it’s the right one,
then you’re lucky.

some people never make it out.
they spend all their life looking for a way out,
but end up dying, when they least expect it.
they lost to the dark side.

some people make it out.
they win, going into the light,
deciding to live there life.

Which one will win me over?