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Control

Crying silently
I sit alone in my room
I cannot be heard
They will make me stop
I don’t want to
It helps me deal
Though few understand
One little push
Makes all the difference
Push and draw a line
Not really hurting
Watching as the red shows
Like it doesn’t want to come out
I push and prod
Making it flow
I have all the control
I watch it run
Down my arm
Just one more push
Distract me from the truth
The unbearable truth
I don’t want to face it
I know I will have to
But I don’t have to yet
I control it all
Where it goes
When it stops
When I make more or less
I don’t let them see
They would be ashamed of me
They would think there is
Something wrong with me
There is nothing wrong
I am very smart
I know what I’m doing
I don’t push too far
Just enough
To let me know
I’m still alive
To be distracted from life
An escape from the truth
And no one can stop me
I have the control
It’s all about
Control





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