Addicted

I slid the blade across my arm
and with the blood released the harm
All my worries and all my doubts
faded as I watched the blood spill out

I cut as a cry
a way to be seen
but never too shallow
and never too deep
Enough to feel the pain
to release the inner scream
everyone says they're a big deal
but they're never as bad as they seem
No one understands
and I'll never be free
because everyone decided
to give up on me
My psychiatrist wonders
why I won't speak
but I can't explain
the secret that I keep


Some people say I'm tempting fate
that I'll cut deeper and deeper
until it's too late
I do this because
I'm so confused
Day after day
I feel like I lose


These other girls here are the same
they have problems
and have to deal
but we're not sure we want help
or how we're supposed to heal
We complain about insecurities
and say we don't want help
but we all have our reasons
and keep them to our self

I start to regret
this addiction that I chose
Because now my psychiatrist
isn't the only one who knows
Now I'm trying to explain
why I do what I do
how I feel insecure
and the chance I think I blew
I tell my story
hoping it will go away
and to figure out why I started this
on that fateful summer day