Eye Contact

InvisibleHeart said...
Jan. 5 at 3:16 pm:

This was a nice poem. I had to read it a couple of times to understand. You do have talent but I think you can make a much stronger poem. Please keep writing!

 

Morning said...
Dec. 14, 2011 at 7:29 pm:

This was a really nice poem. I love the last line. It is a beatiful use of enjambment. Good Job!

 

raindance72 said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 9:30 pm:

I love it! So succinct and strong. I know you have real talent, you need to let it all free!

Also, I'd LOVE some feedback on my work, I really want to know what others think, especially another aspiring poet :)

 

JoshMac said...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 10:27 pm:

I loved that last line. It was perfect. Well done. Take a look at my own stuff, please. I'd love to have a fellow poet read it.

 

Its.beautiful. said...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 6:47 am:

might want to tryy to make a little bit of sense..really..

 

raindance72 replied...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 10:38 am :

I thought it made perfect sense. Might want to try to be a little more constructive and not so critical....

 

InvisibleHeart replied...
Jan. 5 at 3:12 pm :

They have a point though....

 

LazyDaisyLovesYou said...
Sept. 17, 2011 at 8:26 pm:

This happens to me a LOT with this one guy. Great job!

 

livelovesmile said...
Sept. 17, 2011 at 11:05 am:

I love the feelings captured in this poem.

Please comment and rate my new poem "Safe On A Cloud"!! I would really appreciate it! Thanks!

 

madbunnymonique said...
May 30, 2011 at 10:11 am:

Amazing i love it

 

Dessometrics said...
Oct. 18, 2010 at 10:01 am:

it describes just about everyones eye catching moment good job

 

blondnbrilliant said...
Sept. 8, 2010 at 9:56 pm:

This was great, but it only describes a moment in time, and I didn't really understand how you were feeling. In my eyes, writing should reflect ones emotions and personality, and I feel you could improve by adding more of yourself to your writing :D Besides that, I thought this piece was very well written.

 

Dreamer_of_Dreams said...
May 21, 2010 at 12:52 pm:

How many copies of the 2nd Grade critic's book have you all checked out? This poem gives me the impulse to look away.  Please don't look at my works because they are difinitively better than yours.

 

LeilaniLives replied...
Jun. 12, 2010 at 1:06 pm :

How rude can you be? That was not constructed criticism. Take that else where.

It was lovely, dear.

 

LazyDaisyLovesYou replied...
Sept. 17, 2011 at 8:28 pm :

Ok, wow. Dreamer_of_Dreams, that was rude. Maybe she's just started writing. So. SHUT YOUR FACE and be NICE.

 

raindance72 replied...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 10:43 am :

Dreamer_of_Dreams, there is a fine line between constructive criticism and being flat out rude, and you have definitely crossed it. You don't have to like it, but you don't have to express your malicious hate for it in such a snotty way either.

And I don't know why you had to write that you had "standards" on your account. You should be flattered when people ask you to review their work, it means they admire your writing. Maybe I would too if you weren't passing out put downs like t... (more »)

 

soccerchickunc said...
Apr. 29, 2010 at 6:50 pm:

this is really awesome i love it (: amazing meaning & flow. could you check out my poem an escape? i need feedback to improve. thanks (:

 

Powd3er said...
Dec. 7, 2009 at 2:52 pm:

This poem has great flow and insight.
I really enjoyed it.
Lovely poem darling =]
-Please check out the works that I have posted on here it would be highly appreciated and I think you would greatly enjoy them, Thankk youz-
XxDear Mr. President Let Meh Tell You 'Bout Hard Work Building A Bed Out Of A Cardbord BoxXx

 

scarletP said...
Nov. 24, 2009 at 11:04 pm:

wish i could capture so much emotion in such a short amount of words...that is true talent

 

nancyy. said...
Nov. 4, 2009 at 1:34 pm:

i reeally like that, nice job(:

 

said...
Nov. 4, 2009 at 11:41 am:

Very good. You managed to capture a lot in a very short poem. Good job.

 

Yael R. said...
Sept. 3, 2009 at 10:28 pm:

the first and last line really close in "the moment" i luv it!

 

VERY BEAUTIFUL!!!!!=)
i <3ed it and i wish i could meet you!
I <3 writing poems But you are lik so much better than me! LOL!!!

 

writer24/7/365 said...
Sept. 1, 2009 at 12:48 am:

ur so good. u said so little, and yet so mucch

 

sarah.c said...
Aug. 22, 2009 at 9:06 am:

great poem.love it

 

amazing.

 

Abigail G. said...
Aug. 19, 2009 at 6:17 am:

Pretty good. Very accurate discription. I agree with Eilina S., it needs a bit more rythem.

 

MorningStar15 said...
Aug. 19, 2009 at 1:28 am:

aww i loved it

 

Angelalala said...
Aug. 18, 2009 at 1:43 am:

wow i really loved this poem you captured the moment so perfectly wonderful wonderful poem

 

lightbearer said...
Aug. 12, 2009 at 2:21 pm:

i really like the idea. great inspiration

 

Samantha G. said...
Aug. 11, 2009 at 1:55 am:

niceness

 

Eilina S. said...
Aug. 8, 2009 at 3:21 pm:

I think more format and rhythym would have made this a winner, but otherwise it's ok. Nice work.

 

KDtheGhostwriter said...
Aug. 3, 2009 at 7:14 pm:

A great writer can say what they want to say in the fewest of words. Congratulations on accomplishing this and getting published. Well deserved.

 

despurlock said...
Aug. 1, 2009 at 5:22 pm:

Beautiful! Simple and yet cryptic and so so so meaningful. Keep it up!

 

hannah=(= said...
Aug. 1, 2009 at 4:50 pm:

Wow, it's like I felt it.

 

MorningStar15 said...
Jul. 24, 2009 at 1:15 am:

wow annkaykay2011 is right! it IS intense, but that is what makes it so awesome!

 

lovehate29 said...
Jul. 23, 2009 at 9:50 pm:

Wow! I like the intensity and power this piece brings out. It is superb! I absolutely love it! Keep up the good work! Congrats on getting it published, by the way.

~~If you have time, will you please check out my work. Comment and rate if you wish! Thanks!

 

Maisha R. said...
Aug. 15, 2009 at 4:43 am:

life is a game but you cannot win if you live like a player.

 

annkaykay2011 said...
Jul. 20, 2009 at 8:09 am:

Very intense, great word choice

 

His-Bright-Green-Eyes... said...
Jul. 16, 2009 at 5:34 pm:

i LOVE it! A LOT. This is a really good poem! Props to you! :)

 

cree8ive said...
Jul. 8, 2009 at 5:31 am:

i liked it. it's like the opposite of a poem i just did called being indifferent. :)

 

LilJ<3 said...
Jul. 7, 2009 at 11:29 pm:

pretty good. interesting choice of words.

 

rockitxrells said...
Jul. 7, 2009 at 10:44 pm:

great poem! :) my type of poetryyy

 

one_of_a_kind_girl said...
Jul. 7, 2009 at 5:07 am:

i like it :)

 

Lana R. said...
Jul. 7, 2009 at 4:27 am:

i love the simplicity of this, and your choice of words.

 

Winter-Razorblade said...
Jul. 3, 2009 at 8:22 pm:

This is awesome :)