I fell

I fell.

My heart blew to pieces,
Exploding with regret
I would not be writing these mournful words,
If I took that redeeming step
At least not for now.

I would not be
Jealous, chaotic, doleful,
I would not be sitting here
I would be satisfied, pleased
And I would spare my cryptic tear

I would not be
Losing precious sleep at night,
Drenched in my worry
I would be carefree are laughing,
Shining in all my glory

I would not be
Sliding along the corridors,
Filled with disappointed looks
Or barely meeting their eyes
I would be myself again,
Reaching the tallest mountains
And sinking into the sweetest skies

And I would not be ME,
The one that fell and is holding that shaky, blue pen in her quivering hand
I would be a bare stranger,
Standing where I now stand