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Home > All Poetry > Please Can I Have That Guy?

Please Can I Have That Guy? This piece has been published in Teen Ink's monthly print magazine.

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Photo credit: Jennifer N., Chickasha, OK
Please can I have that guy who sings to me?
Please can I have that guy
Who knows how to raise my cheekbones from ear to ear in the most unfeasible situations
Who doesn’t mind my immense eating habit and finds it to be intriguing
Wondering why the food doesn’t stick
Like nectar on bees
Who makes me the only dirt cakes from scratch which he says he put his whole foot in
Who walks like cocky Tyson Beckford with his superlative swagger across the catwalk
Who recalls my every knock-knock joke and has them all stored in the back of his mind like a FedEx package
Originated from my inner Dave Chappelle
Ready to be delivered out the soles of his lips,
To be mutual between us once again –
And no one can interpret this but us because
It’s our little secretive jest
Who keeps that Orbit fresh breath and ­Colgate smile;
Who talks like a baby Barry White, with his assuring
Big daddy tone in preparation of a slow ­seduction
Of my mind mentally silent from the world;
Who knows that bombarding me with ­compliments
Like an overflowing sullied toilet filled with feces, urine, gum, and hair
Is just too typical: please can I have that guy friend
Who knows that I don’t want that.
Who is not prepared to change himself to ­appease me.
Who, when I collapse to the floor like an iron-lacking anemic
While broken with tears and moaning like an abused milked cow
That enjoys nothing but the fresh dry grass
From the vast fields of the suffering and ­polluted earth used and abused,
Picks me up like a strong lion would grab his cub in the clutch of its mouth.
This piece has been published in Teen Ink's monthly print magazine.This piece has also been published in Teen Ink's monthly print magazine.

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This article has 36 comments. Post your own!

s8erdude said...
Feb. 24 at 11:14 pm:

Very good job i think i understand th ending. The ending is kinda like how she doesnt want a guy whos gna tell her what she wants to know she wants a guy whos going to be real whos not going to change and whose going to be there for her

 
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ClaraS! said...
Jan. 11 at 5:56 am:

i really liked the idea behind the poem, but i agree that it went a bit of track towards the end. don't use too many adjectives though, you don't need them all. still, its better than what i could do!

 
Tamara*Monta replied...
Feb. 2 at 12:35 pm :

I enjoy the poem but i do agree that in the end you lost me

 
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LeilaniLives said...
Dec. 20, 2009 at 11:08 am:

Towards the end, I don't think it was clear enough, like there were hidden passage ways you didn't even know were there. Maybe you might want to rethink this poem and what it really means to you, more in depth. Maybe you have, I'm not sure. Anyways, I absolutely loved the first half of your piece. Filled with an ounce of every man, but just like the others, it did have a sad romance to it.

 
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she wulf lyke dat said...
Nov. 28, 2009 at 12:34 am:

what on earth is this ABOUT? here's what i got out of it: you own a thesourous and enjoy talking about toilits...where this peom belongs

 
Poet_in_Motion replied...
Jan. 11 at 7:11 pm :

Rather impolite, are we? Seriously, if you think a poem is lacking (and I personally don't think this one is!), you shouldn't say anything at all unless it's constructive. And by the way, it's spelled, "thesaurus" and "toilets."

 
edwardcullen4always replied...
Feb. 24 at 11:04 am :

Wow...that was pretty sad

 
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nette2010 said...
Nov. 6, 2009 at 3:09 pm:

I LOVE THE POEM ITS SWEET BUT IDNT THINK ITS FINISHED

 
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Peace_seeker said...
Oct. 4, 2009 at 6:48 pm:

Soooo, for the most part I liked it... After all it's a million times better than anything I could write, but I think it needs somthing more...

 
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MariaMarie said...
Sept. 7, 2009 at 3:41 pm:

This is awesome, the first time I read it I fell in love with it but didn't have time to comment- so i bookmarked the page, I'm glad i did :) This is going into my favs! Could you read a couple of my poems please? One is "Neither of Us" And the other is "Afraid Of Always Loving You" ?

 
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Annisah T. said...
Sept. 6, 2009 at 3:53 pm:

that wouild be wonderful to have that feeling again

 
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LIV2011 said...
Aug. 28, 2009 at 1:42 am:

so different, so good, so clever, love it.

 
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corshaaa29 said...
Aug. 26, 2009 at 10:40 pm:

I personally loved this poem, you put everything about the perfect man in one poem!!! Wow, this is amazing and breath taking, and it's so crazy because my boyfriend is just like this. I'm going to let him read it !!! GREAT JOB: %Pr

 
DirtySweatpants replied...
Feb. 2 at 4:29 pm :

now correct me if wrong but, I think the whole part where she is describing the guy..is like sarcastic, mock-romantic whatever, and at the end shes just talking about how she wants a guy who is there for her when she is in her darkest hour, or as she puts it incredibly bizzarely, anemic cow..terds. etc

 
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~*The-Broken-Hearted-Girl*~ said...
Aug. 26, 2009 at 8:33 pm:

ahmazing!!! :)

 
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aspiring.author.09 said...
Aug. 24, 2009 at 6:41 am:

I wish this comment could be coming from the mouth of someone famous: BRILLIANT!!! Formidable, great job.

 
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Shauna said...
Aug. 14, 2009 at 7:03 pm:

i love this poem maybe..you can help me with some of mines:)

 
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!!starstrukk!! said...
Aug. 11, 2009 at 3:36 am:

wow. thats all i can say. good job

 
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Schubster said...
Aug. 8, 2009 at 10:50 pm:

keep writing :) awesome poem

 
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munchkinrocks said...
Jul. 29, 2009 at 7:22 pm:

wow. this is a really nice poem=]

 
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Rachel N. said...
Jul. 26, 2009 at 8:40 pm:

its the truth of love,
and its absolutely perfect.
its life in your eyes,
and now we can all see it.
well done.

 
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BillyJoeBobKellyGeorge said...
Jul. 25, 2009 at 6:39 pm:

hahaha hopefully you get your dream guy. i heart your poem <3

 
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JacintaT said...
Aug. 15, 2009 at 4:36 am:

i love how you wrote so deeply into, describing everything.
Its realistic and, as other people have said, has the sad humour to it.

 
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LPWHill said...
Jul. 23, 2009 at 6:50 pm:

Wow!! I'm totally blow away by your words!! When you find that guy..let me know if he has an older single father!! LOL

 
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marykate:) said...
Jul. 21, 2009 at 1:20 pm:

good work:)i agree with pretty much everyone, it was amazing!

 
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Angela said...
Jul. 20, 2009 at 11:39 pm:

This is an amazing piece...well written!

 
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Melinda L. said...
Jul. 16, 2009 at 11:23 pm:

Wow. I am practically speechless. I still have to tell you what I think of it, though. It was so... incredible...no, I can't think of a word that describes what I think of this poem. But I love it because it it so true and very well written. Great Job!

 
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SmollyCelmore said...
Jul. 15, 2009 at 1:30 am:

Wow. That's frigging amazing. Right on. This is beautiful.

 
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one_of_a_kind_girl said...
Jul. 11, 2009 at 6:33 am:

Love it. Very, very, very, very well written.

 
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xxqt327xx said...
Jul. 10, 2009 at 1:35 am:

wow. that was amazing!! i luved it!

 
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LilJ<3 said...
Jul. 7, 2009 at 11:38 pm:

love the imagery. continue to write this was great and i believe that u can go far.

 
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annkaykay2011 said...
Jul. 5, 2009 at 4:44 am:

It was breathtaking...No wonder it was published!
It has that sad humor to it,
that romance you can't forget,
that lost truth,
but you no it so well.
I love it~!

 
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sunsetclimber said...
Jul. 1, 2009 at 9:32 pm:

nicely done, it is an amazing poem.

 
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-xlimitless239x- said...
Jul. 1, 2009 at 4:28 am:

keep 'em going!! good work (-:

 
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IanG. said...
Jun. 30, 2009 at 7:19 pm:

I like it!

 
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Duckie430 said...
Jul. 6, 2009 at 3:23 pm:

wow. absolutely amazing.

 
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