June 14, 2009
By , Virginia Beach, VA
I crave it.
Absolute, mad, perfection.

I am 110 pounds.
5 foot 7.
I look normal.
Not tall enough.
Not skinny enough.
No pretty enough.

It’s not fair. Not my fault.
Impossible to change.
The way I was born.
I believe
I can change the way I am now.

My nose, too small.
I fix it.
Make it straighter
Heighten it
To absolute, complete,

I hate my thighs.
Too, too, fat
When I sit down.
I go back,
To that shiny glass hospital,
I leave, slimmer and lighter.
I feel a little better.
A little.

My chin
A little too round
I am 14 years old
This can’t be baby fat, can it?
I cry in the mirror
I’ll never be beautiful
My parents take pity,
When they see the sleeping pills I take,
To try,
Try, to sleep.

I shave it,
My bone
It hurts
So, so much.
The pain.
But I smile.
Almost there.
Almost perfect.

I look in the mirror.
I wish,
I wish,
My cheekbones,
They were higher.
I beat myself with a hammer
Tapping, to raise the height.
Only bruises.
One look.
I am again sent to the shiny glass building
I smile.

Soon, I will be perfect
The image of beauty
I ignore the warnings
What’s a tiny risk
For my dream?

I am dressed in a gown
Ready for my new,
Ready for the implants

I close my eyes,
As I am anesthetized
I close my eyes,


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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Disturbia said...
Jul. 15, 2009 at 4:00 am
Your poem is amazing...As i live by "Anything in life that is perfect is series of mistakes.." Don't waste time trying be perfect hun it's what is in inside is what counts and your inside is beautiful and your probably beautiful on the outside too! =)
musicgirl757 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 30, 2009 at 12:38 am
OMG this is so sad... and good! This is really brilliant! But please don't worry about being perfect, it's just an illusion. Really good poem though!
gab. H. said...
Jun. 29, 2009 at 11:06 pm
i lost my breathe @ the's so deep but gets to the the true depth of a person who's enduring this sort of experience. Nice. Great pooet-story and stanza pattern.
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