beauty. as simple as it sounds. beach blonde wavy hair. smooth skin, skinny waist. 

   Beauty. Impossible to achieve. In the mirror, short black hair, blemishes, and a bloated belly. 

adhering to beauty standards, following the rules of father.

   Disappointment. Radiates off of father, fists clenching. 

applying makeup takes hours, must be done to be beautiful.

   Complicated. Father says makeup makes you beautiful. I hate makeup. 

wishing boys notice me.

   Attention. Hiding away, hoping to go unnoticed. 

buying new clothes for the new season

   Pressure. Must maintain appearance to please men. 

when will father be proud of me?

   When. When will I be enough?