I can't see or feel or smell
totally succumed to the darkness
pressing on my limbs, so weary from fighting
thrashing to stay above water all my life

Memories float across my mind
Laughter. Sadness. Frustration.
drowning me with one mighty blow
God doesn't play fair.

No air, I can't breathe

I can imagine everyone standing around
An empty casket, water lily's crying
more than this black tulle parade
of people, promising my ghost
that they were grieving.

I can feel the warmth of him
His eyes the only ones looking
straight at me, barely an apparation
Blessed boy, having his father's eyes
His mother's lips curling on his small, plump face.

How I wish I could cry now
But I can't, I'm drowning