Revolving Nightmare

December 19, 2008
By Ricardo Alvarez, Gaffney, SC

I wake up screaming, and hitting my wall
I'm cursing my life, as I let my tears fall
I'm filled with this rage, towards not only myself
But this life in general and everything else

I wake up day after day, hating this world
I constantly dream about losing this girl
One minute life's fine, and then all goes to Hell
I wake up without her, at the sound of the bell

The bell's my alarm, it goes off at eight
Before waking up, I'm not in this state
I'm in a place where everything's grand
I'm with the girl of my dreams, holding her hand

When I wake up, it's all taken away
If I had one wish, I'd wish it could stay
But the truth of it all is, that it was my past
And the future's coming, so how could it last

Every day it's the same, I'm angry and I'm sad
Is it so wrong to just want what I once had
I've gone through depression, I've been far from fine
All because of the unavailable commodity called time

I'm a different person, I hate to say that I've changed
I may not look any different, but no, I'm not the same
I've altered within, and I've seen this sight
Where darkness consumes, every ounce of the light

Let me care to explain, how time has changed me
I'm bitter and scared, but can you blame me?
I was never let down, every day was pure fun
But now those days are good as done

Like holding a carrot in front of a horse
I follow my fate, down it's unknown course
Blindly I walk towards suffering and pain
Losing all hope with nothing to gain

Wait for a second, is that light that I see?
I open my eyes to find that it's only a dream
Once again I wake up, screaming to the sky
I'm so sick and tired of asking God, “Why?”

Why can't I be happy, at least for one day
Why is everything I love always taken away
Why can't I wake up from this
Revolving Nightmare?

The author's comments:
this is one of my favreit poems i've written because all of this is really about me and one of my ex-girlfriends every night i would wake up and scream out all because i let my gard down and let her know my deepest screats. i will never let any one get that close to me again. and i will never get that attached to someone again. i use to be really scared to let people know how i really felt and i never knew why, but thanks to her, now i know why i was so scared to let them know and to let them in. it was all because i was so scared of being hurt. thats why i wrote this.

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