American Dream MAG

By Ivy S., Loganville, WI

so this is where all the dreaming takes me
to a cold, empty reality
with sleep still in my eyes
shivering, confused, I must’ve overslept
now it’s time to wake up
one last yawn, then face the lies
I’m barefoot and the streets are rough
paved with broken glass
but that’s okay
’cause the land is flowing
with milk and honey
bread and butter
and justice
if you just keep on going ...





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This article has 160 comments.


Hollyss SILVER said...
on Dec. 14 2010 at 4:04 pm
Hollyss SILVER, Stafford, Virginia
8 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Fiction reveals what reality obscures"-Jessamyn West
"You can't leap a 20-ft chasm in 2 10-ft jumps."-Anonymous

I think the fact that it was unnatural may have been her point. She talked about how America is fabricated of lies, so the last lines seemed kind of bitter and sarcastic to me. That's what I got out of it, at least.

Steamer GOLD said...
on Nov. 22 2010 at 10:47 am
Steamer GOLD, Columbus, Ohio
18 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is so fragile, yet so dangerous." ---I said this in a dream I had

I really loved how you presented this. The scheme seems very unique. I would say expand on it and make the transition from negative to positive more natural.

on Nov. 18 2010 at 4:21 pm
Ahrenzell BRONZE, Foxborough, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Possibility is no longer a factor. All that matters now is truth." - The Plague of Ahrenzell

I agree that your writing is quite thought-provoking. My only critique is that maybe you could put more thought into some meter of some kind. I found that that was the only think that I didn't like about it. If you could get your poetry to flow just a little bit more, I think you could grow into a truly excellent writer... I also liked your other work too.

on Nov. 17 2010 at 1:48 pm
TheArchitect ELITE, Madison, Wisconsin
227 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
-Anything said by Mr. T
- Ill be in my bunk
- Im so clever that half the time I don't even understand what I'm saying

i really like your descriptions of the street, the sleep in your eyes, and the bounty of the land. the more times your read over htis poem the more it makes sense. its beautiful.

on Nov. 1 2010 at 3:01 pm
horsegirl27 GOLD, Los Angeles, California
11 articles 5 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
A dog comes when called; a cat takes a message and gets back to you

um...kinda confusing but good!

on Oct. 31 2010 at 4:53 pm
WinterFairy PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
45 articles 15 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't dream it. Be it."
"Singing is praying twice, and dancing is singing with the body."
"Paper is more patient than man."
"Where you live shouldn't determine whether you live"

Wow really powerful

on Oct. 31 2010 at 6:15 am
Phantom_Girl GOLD, Ft. Carson, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 279 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If it comes out of the lion's mouth...it will be on the test."
-Mr. Bala

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the use of extended metaphor for the dream was excellent. I especially loved the part about sleep still being in the eyes.

on Oct. 31 2010 at 6:14 am
Phantom_Girl GOLD, Ft. Carson, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 279 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If it comes out of the lion's mouth...it will be on the test."
-Mr. Bala

Oh my goodness. What can I say about this poem?

I loved it. The imagry was fabulous, especially the part about the broken glass. The message was solid-Goddess knows the "American Dream" has been perverted and glossed over. The title has just the right amount of biting sarcasm. Even the picture fits well. This is good stuff.


on Oct. 31 2010 at 1:59 am
Artistic_whirlwind BRONZE, Tuwila, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An artist is a person who can look at something, see what no one else can see, and make it plain to everyone their discovery."~unknown

love the imagry this poem gives! the American dream is such a pathetic streotype that tries to gloss over things people don't want to think about. thank you and please keep writing!

on Oct. 31 2010 at 1:57 am
Artistic_whirlwind BRONZE, Tuwila, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An artist is a person who can look at something, see what no one else can see, and make it plain to everyone their discovery."~unknown

screename, what a horrible thing to say! just because a poem doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean you can be totally rude. if you can't think of something nice than please don't say it at all :(

azuremoon77 said...
on Oct. 9 2010 at 8:17 pm
azuremoon77, Notreal, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
It makes a lot of sense. The narrartor has heard that America is considered the land with them most opportunity. But s/he finds out that it's never that easy...

on Sep. 17 2010 at 10:20 pm
darkangel09 GOLD, South Huntington, New York
13 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."-Voltaire

i've never heard it put that way before. wow very nice. nothing too good or too bad lasts forever

on Sep. 17 2010 at 4:51 pm
Kathleen_Lee-Anne BRONZE, Luling, Louisiana
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Why live life unnoticed?"

opps, opinion**

on Sep. 17 2010 at 4:49 pm
Kathleen_Lee-Anne BRONZE, Luling, Louisiana
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Why live life unnoticed?"

Wow! you have a brilliant way of putting things. I just joined teenink monday. You should read my story. It's called "Jack" I would love to hear your openion.

on Sep. 17 2010 at 6:42 am
darraasheaa GOLD, New City, New York
15 articles 0 photos 1 comment
this poem is really well written, and really made me think about society. keep up the good work! :)

on Aug. 26 2010 at 7:46 pm
evdiamond BRONZE, Los Angeles, California
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
this is great!

on Aug. 26 2010 at 7:07 pm
samantha9441 BRONZE, Montrose, Colorado
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others. For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness. And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." -Audrey Hepburn

This was really good!! I would love it if you read my piece! I only have one up right now... another one is pending. Thanks!

on Aug. 26 2010 at 5:52 pm
skyblue95 PLATINUM, Bear, Delaware
35 articles 1 photo 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am paraphrasing, of course. "My only fear is that when they are turned to loving they will find we are turned to hating." -Reverand Msimangu, Cry, The Beloved Country (a book by Alan Paton)

this was so awesome! im not one for poetry but i actually really liked this. if u could take a look at some of my work, it would be greatly appreciated thanks!

on Aug. 26 2010 at 2:42 pm
SOSaiXD PLATINUM, Oviedo, Florida
35 articles 1 photo 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always believe that everything happens for a reason. If you give God long enough to prove His point, He will always blow you away."

I couldn't agree with you more...

on Aug. 26 2010 at 11:21 am
theatercamper112 SILVER, Lemont, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do what you want to not what anyone else tells you to.

Really good. I want to read more of your work it would be awesome or even to see artwork. But this was really good! So keep writing.




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