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American Dream This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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so this is where all the dreaming takes me
to a cold, empty reality
with sleep still in my eyes
shivering, confused, I must’ve overslept
now it’s time to wake up
one last yawn, then face the lies
I’m barefoot and the streets are rough
paved with broken glass
but that’s okay
’cause the land is flowing
with milk and honey
bread and butter
and justice
if you just keep on going ...



This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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kate12345me said...
Jan. 14, 2012 at 11:19 pm:
I see why this is popular. The words contradict each other, but it makes sense. Although I'm not American myself, I can imagine imagery of dark shapes, and frequent bursts of vibrant colours. This is very visually pleasing. Wonderful, keep it up! xo
 
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Blairezie said...
Jan. 14, 2012 at 6:23 pm:
The visual on that poem was epic, and the theme was amazing- I loved the idea. The meter was confusing, since the first two lines rhymed and none of the others did. But that's literally the only thing I noticed! Great job.
 
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Book_addict said...
Dec. 8, 2011 at 10:49 pm:
Awesome!  The visual this projects is really startling but at the same time, like "Yeah, sorta, totally." 
 
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raindance72 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 1, 2011 at 8:48 pm:

Great work! I love the rhythm and the language you used here. It's inspirational, really; and I loved it :)

Would anyone consider taking a look at (and maybe commenting?) on my poetry? I have three things in and really need feedback, thx!

 
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ElleNicole said...
Dec. 1, 2011 at 6:17 pm:
Nice job. Check out my stuff?
 
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DAN_CER_554 said...
Nov. 9, 2011 at 5:54 pm:
I thought it was good while i was reading it. It wasn't until the last line that i was like wow. It struck me and took my breath away. Amazing
 
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JuneTaz said...
Nov. 9, 2011 at 4:06 pm:
Think your poem is really unique and realistic too. I especially like how the shortness left me thinking about it. Four stars!
 
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ShadowKeeper said...
Nov. 9, 2011 at 3:45 pm:
I loved the ending!! that is soo true!! Keep writing!!
 
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Miara said...
Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:15 am:
This has no feeling, no meaning.  To write, one must be willing to face something that needs to be faced.  This does not.  You have potential, but this doesn't hit a mark.
 
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bpjrobert said...
Sept. 26, 2011 at 9:06 pm:
This is great.
 
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manisha said...
Sept. 26, 2011 at 6:19 am:
you have a certain way of expressing your thoughts. loved the poem!
 
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Gabe-Mage said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 11:38 pm:
Interesting how the modern "American Dream" is not the same as in the past. Modern Americans don't really believe in progress. 
 
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ishmael_bishop This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 10:34 pm:
Wow, after puttting things into perspective, I finally understand "American Dream". Great job!  
 
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TotheSea said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 12:12 pm:
At first I wasn't sure what I thought about this poem but when I read the ending, that sealed it for me.  You did a really nice job!
 
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ohheyyyelli said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 7:19 pm:
I love this. Especially the ending. You're really talented!
 
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dancechick said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 3:22 pm:
This is beautiful, you write really well. Can you please comment on some of my work? I'd love to hear what you think. Keep writing!
 
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Arco_Sine said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 2:39 pm:
As a writer you want to have meaning and not just everyday laundry meaning, real meaning. Have a unique reason to write. If you want to say pretty things, that's good for yourself. But the world needs purpose.
 
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Shmelmo said...
Jun. 30, 2011 at 7:30 pm:
This is really good. Awesome job!! Keep it up!
 
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RanaHewezi1998This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 30, 2011 at 5:01 pm:
wow dat is amazing
 
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stormblade85 said...
Jun. 30, 2011 at 4:49 am:
Good job on the poem. It's great, and the imagery is simple, but effective. For that, I give you five stars. :)
 
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