June 14, 2009
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A deep black splattered with blood
I’m drowning, help! No one hears
There is no one for me, no reason for me to live
Lost, alone, cold
A vast emptiness above, below, around me
Me, myself, and I, versus the darkness
I am losing, dying, drowning, screaming…
Will it hurt? If I just pull
The trigger?
It hurts. I want the pain to stop
Will it hurt? If I cut
Or will it only save me? Relieve the hurt.
I want relief, but I only know pain
As if a hand has ripped up my heart
I don’t even feel anything anymore, just a void, a black hole
I cry. No one sees.
I scream. No one hears.
If I die. Would no one care?
Is there anyone out inside this blackness? Any point of light?
No one. No one. No one.
Help me! Save me!
Can’t you see? Why can’t anyone hear me?

There’s no one here… no light… no color… no air…

I’m suffocating! The black engulfs me slowly.

What is sound? What is color? Has there always been pain?

I close my eyes. I want this. This… it’s a new pain.

Its different. I welcome the change, the switch of pain

I enjoy it. No more memories, no more tears.

No more blood, no more black; its black velvet.

Soft. Not warm, no, but not as cold.
Ice to soft snow.
It wraps me like a blanket. I give in to it.
Goodbye forever…

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