I remember holding your hand, and laughing as the wind blew across your cheek.
I remember singing softly, and watching you fall asleep.
I remember my heart beat, with each and every kiss.
I remember your eyes, and the kindness in them.

I remember how you’d hold me and tell me I am yours.
I remember how you’d lay your hand in mine.
I remember when we met, how afraid I was to speak.

I remember your tears.
I remember your drugs.
I remember your eyes; the darkness is in them.
I remember the way you shook with every intake.
I remember the way you laughed, and told me I was worthless.
I remember the secrets we shared diminish.

I remember the lights leaving your eyes.
I remember the people in black, looking into you and only seeing what was left.
I remember the months I spent crying.
I remember how I couldn’t sleep at night.
I remember blaming myself.
I remember how it took you away from me.
I remember promising myself I’d never turn that way.

I remember when my promise broke.
I remember the savage hunger.
I remember my heart beating faster and faster.
I remember the white walls of the hospital.
I remember your disapproving eyes, staring into me from a dream.

I remember hating myself.
I remember going to lengths to get rid of the hate.
I remember shattered glass.
I remember broken plates.
I remember the blood upon my hands.

I remember the day I stopped myself.
I remember telling myself I wasn’t worth it.
I remember crying for days and days afterward always wanting a way out.

I remember…
But, I’ve also forgotten…

I’ve forgotten the hate for myself.
I’ve forgotten the lustful hunger and want of drugs.
I’ve forgotten the pain I’ve caused myself.
I’ve forgotten the pain I’ve caused others.

I’ve forgotten the darkness.
I’ve forgotten the loneliness.
I’ve forgotten the lies.
I’ve forgotten the things in my past that cause my hatred.

I’ve forgotten.
But, I also thank…

I thank you for always being around.
I thank you for kissing my fears away.
I thank you for telling me you love me every second of every day.
I thank you for bringing me happiness.
I thank you for everything that I am.
I thank you because I’ve found the one thing I’ve been searching for.