Losing myself

June 9, 2009
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I was once happy and carefree

Hopeful and loving
Unafraid of being who I was because
No one told me who I should be


You
Were my best friend

The one I could trust

And believed in
We laugh at stupid jokes

We play make believe

And believed we stay

friend forever
Then all those joyful moments

Ended in a flash
For once during a conversation

You let me know that
I wasn’t who I thought I was
I was not the smart girl

I was led to believed

You made me see the

True I never saw before

In no uncertain terms

you declare that

I was dumb, ugly, and
Unworthy of being your friend
I tried to smile and laugh

Like it was all a joke
But their was not humor in you eyes

Just deadly intent

And without realizing it
I started a game I would never win

Trying to appease you
Be who you wanted me to be
The harder I try the more
I accepted every single lie

And suddenly I started to

Sink into a desperate hole

With no hope in sight

My sensitive soul lost

all its fight
And I lost more than my self


That day

My confidence crumbled
And my self-esteem took a stumped

I started to hate myself

thinking its
My fault that I’m never

good enough
And like a puppet master
you pulled my strings
Made me trip and fall for

the whole world to see

Everything I was

Everything I lost


Was gone


Why

Because I let you tell me

who I should be





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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

hiddenangelz211 said...
Dec. 13, 2010 at 7:53 pm
beautiful :D my lil sis is going through those exact feelings... but this is absolutely amazing ♥
 
Writerzhand said...
Sept. 30, 2009 at 5:50 pm
This, is something everyone can relate to. You've got some talent, This is excellent!
 
iluvfruitbasket3 replied...
Oct. 3, 2009 at 6:30 pm
thanks i love it when someone can relate to my work
 
SilverDawn said...
Sept. 21, 2009 at 5:49 pm
oh. my. gawsh. that is definately one of the best poems i've read in a long time. i really really like it, especially the turn when the line "And without realizing it/ I started a game I would not win" came. it was kinda unexpected but also classically perfect and the wording was pretty good too. love it. just love it! (:
 
iluvfruitbasket3 replied...
Sept. 24, 2009 at 6:23 pm
thank you so much
 
His-Bright-Green-Eyes... said...
Aug. 8, 2009 at 11:09 pm
wonderful. keep up the good writing.
 
inloveconfused said...
Jul. 11, 2009 at 6:17 pm
i really like it i hated i when that happened 2 me thanx 4 commenting on my poem
 
camille_1441 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 7, 2009 at 4:00 pm
thanks for the comment on Tears!
I like your poem I can relate to it
 
xXsmileXx This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 23, 2009 at 4:46 am
I know i can definitely relate to this. I went through this exactly in 5th and 6th grade. The poem is amazing. Awesome.
 
lovehate29 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 22, 2009 at 4:30 am
Oh wow! This is amazing!! Very sad but well put together. I'm sure many people could relate to this. GREAT JOB!!
 
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