You are trying to make up all the time you lost with me. You are always letting me get my own way when i am with you. Trust me it is impossible to make up more than THREE years. Between all the time you spent with her and even the time after you two broke up. The drugs took over your life. Not just screwing up YOUR life but MINE too. Yo hurt mom. You hurt our whole family. You were not around when i needed you the most because you were the reason that i was feeling the way i did. You got kicked out so many times. you even had the police at our house because mom and could not control you, because we did not want to get hurt any more. I love spending time with you. You are my big brother. I am supposed to look up to you and you are supposed to be there protecting me from being hurt, and not the one causing all my pain. I look back at the memories of my pre-teen years, and you are not there. I was scared, I did not want to lose the memories of you. I used to think you were way to overprotective of me but now I realize you are just trying to protect me from making the same mistakes as you and from being hurt more. I love you and I don't want to lose my memories of you again