Be What You Are, Not What You Want

June 6, 2009
By Samantha Durkee BRONZE, Cedar Springs, Michigan
Samantha Durkee BRONZE, Cedar Springs, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Stepping on the scale is her worst fear, every time shes 10, 20, even 30 pounds more Than what she should be. Thinking about her weight always gets her upset and depressed. She mentally tells herself she beautiful but she knows shes not.
Shes sick of being self conscience shes ready to be out there break the shell.
She knows about eating disorders and diets how their “bad” for you, but she doesn’t listen. she goes out on her own. She skips meals “skipping one meal is not going to hurt me” she tells herself. But she know deep in her mind that what what shes doing is wrong but perfection is just out of reach so she keeps going. Things start to easier. The hunger begins to fade. Soon shes going days without eating. She doesn’t even realize it. The numbers on the scale begin to creep lower and closer to what she has been wishing for. Soon she reaches the number she wants to see but she still doesn’t feel satisfied so she keeps going, working towards what she thinks she wants. She looks at herself in the mirror and is disgusted by what stares back.
People start to notice what shes been up to, they ask her about whats been going on. She gets frustrated and blows them off hurting the ones that love her most.
Until one day a voice speaks louder than the rest and she understands .
Things are not right, not the way they should be and she needs to start figuring everything out, her life is spiraling down. That one voice reached her thought and she holds onto it. She goes to a group where support is to be given. At that moment she realizes she can get her life back in order and can learn from this. Its not going to be easy but shes up for the challenge. She takes a step towards health and now she knows that all along beauty and perfection is not needed to have wonderful friends and family that love her and that’s all she needs.

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