Subtle Goodness

May 29, 2009
By Courtney Heigers BRONZE, Pretoria, Other
Courtney Heigers BRONZE, Pretoria, Other
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

I trip over the guilt of pitying you
as if my kindness were a bag of filthy laundry
I push back the mercy emerging
and convince myself that punishment is just

you have been punished for a reason
you are deserving thereof

yet silently
in a compartment in my chest
where I store hope for the hopeless
I keep the memory of the subtle goodness in your soul
that only I could see

but then I swallow my good nature
and shove your face out of my memory
I tell myself that I want you
to live alone
and die alone
“that’s what you deserve”

then I remember again
I remember what you were

I saw your eyes lighten up once
I saw them needing more
than a spinning head
and the spinning girls
and all the noise

although you do not deserve my pity
I give it to you
neither are you deserving of my good wishes
yet tem I give too

because I am the only one
who could ever see past your arrogance

I am the only one who could see
the subtle goodness in your soul

The author's comments:
I think anyone can relate to this piece, this poem is about still caring about someone even though theh have changed and become something you despise. Sadly, we don't see the terrible things they have become, we choose to remember the beauty we once saw in them.

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