June 4, 2009
She lolls in a pile of crumpled autumn leaves,
Brisk wind upon her face.
The sun slowly sets,
As she gazes at the night sky filled with stars winking back at her.
Though the night was young and bitter,
And the frigid air nipped at her nose,
She fell into a deep slumber.

She lay on a vast balmy beach.
The radiant sunlight beamed down on her face.
The waves of the ocean lapping at the sand swished,
Like turning pages of the Sunday paper.
She squished the supple sand between her toes.
The exhilarating sensation caused her to giggle with delight.
The scenery began to fade away.

And in one split second,
She awoke with a start only to find,
The paradise she was in before had vanished as quickly as,
The silence of morning does when the cock crows.
A blustery storm raged as,
Rain cascading from the sky jabbed at her body like a million needles.
All signs of tranquility had disappeared,
Leaving her to endure the turmoil.

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EdytD said...
Aug. 25, 2009 at 12:57 am
Nice! One question - she falls asleep in a pile of leaves under a night's sky and wakes up outside, in the rain?

Great job - I love the graphic imagery and comparisons of the setting! It makes the reader really feel as though he/she is with the narrator.
Jaquie This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 29, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Wow. Your piece was truly incredible. I loved it. Your vocabulary and the way you strung the words together was completely amazing. Keep writing!
God bless,
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