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Afraid Of Closness

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I'm afraid.
Afraid of what we could be,
Afraid of what we can become.
I never understood
Why I pushed people away.
Now I know,
I'm afraid.
Afraid of getting attached
and losing them.
Afraid of falling in love.
Is it the vulnerability
I'm not used to,
Or the rejection
My heart
pretends not to see?
The feelings erupt
inside of me.
I can't stop them
from flowing-
[like lava.]
They eventually leave me
and I plead them back-
[like a drug.]
The chance-
to get addicted,
is up..
And I took it blindly.
Is that what I feared?
For my drug
to disappear..
Or to get hooked
on the wrong one?
I think he is my match..
I hope I did no wrong.




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