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Sestina of a Guilty Monday Midnight
Mr. Guilt at having walked Away
Said Hello, and stopped to play a Game
While I waited at a bus stop with street light spilling out.
Night drew nearer, and I knew then you were something of a stranger
To me, as I had always been to them. Still, I
Know I should have said Goodbye instead of Nothing.
However, I believed anything was better than Nothing,
As a stranger is, so I accepted it-- until I saw how far Away
From me you really were (in more than one sense of direction.) You and I
Became different, estranged. Instead of our little Game,
Our little Secret smiles, we had a spilt. And even stranger,
You didn’t seem to mind. You had the inside seat, and I was out.
So, I indulged myself with a piece of “Dignity” and walked out
Of the restaurant, without a second thought, for there was Nothing
More to say or think about. Unwanted, and treated as the stranger,
Things became “Clear.” Outside I took Pity for a walk, and tucked Pride Away.
Soon after Reality laughed, and it was enough to see the Game
That Life was plotting: to leave me alone, just Mr. Guilt and I.
And in such street light shifting, there was so much that I
Wished could be changed back. Wishing not only that I hadn’t walked out
Without saying goodbye, but that we could be young and that this could be a Game,
Just a dream, something silly and escapable. Something only in the night, and Nothing
Permanent, or from which we could not run Away.
Some secret lifted from the lips of a passing stranger,
An almost feather, lingering in the dark. And such a stranger
Would remain such, and We, of course, would never be such. And I
Would not think about it further, and the secret would fade Away.
But Reality laughed, the bus arrived, and ignoring the current state of things was out
Of the question. They sat in the restaurant even now, and there was Nothing
That could change that. Let them have their Game,
Mr. Guilt and I were playing our own Game
With moonlight reflecting off the glass and into the eye of a stranger,
Sitting across the row-- Someone who had Nothing
To do with you, and never would, and strangely enough, I
Loved her for that, for not knowing anything about it, for being out
Of the inner circle. And Mr. Guilt for having walked Away
Said goodbye, and ran off to find another stranger
To play with him. Another fool, another Game.
Reality laughed, and the bus carried us farther Away.