I know the world will never be the same, conversations in my head; hours entice me then desert me. Time for bed, mommy said I just can’t look my problem in the eye, I just cant let myself say goodbye. Just one more hour, just two, just three then four. Life starts to blur, a mess of books and computer screens, late night conversations with understanding friends. Childhood will never be the same, not the two-shoes I was before, no there’s something more to that. Does everything happen for a reason? I am beginning to think not. I loose control, loose my soul, never to be the same again. No never to be the same again.