Notions of Life

May 24, 2009
By Richa BRONZE, Brampton, Ontario, Other
Richa BRONZE, Brampton, Ontario, Other
2 articles 0 photos 9 comments

The world has lost its luminance with my growing age,
What has become of me with every little change?
I feel like a bee trapped in a colourful canopy.
It’s known to me that it’s all false,
Your love and all those fake calls.
It pains to think such could have been the destiny,
I am distraught at present, and seek melancholy.
Days have passed and nights have died,
I wait at the window for the unknown.
I know there is something which is keeping me alive.
I know not why or how would I survive.
But so far I have managed to withhold.
All the urges and despair,
my tears have dried after all this while.
I do believe in the strength and wisdom,
It perseveres in one little corner deep in my heart,
The sacred corner I worship with all I have.
But just at times I feel the loss- and disregard my life.
Oh my soul! Let me live,
Let me live until I can stand no more,
Then you may take all the pain away,
cus that’s what you want.
I am ready to serve you,
once I have pleased my entity in this world.


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This article has 7 comments.


Kite112211 said...
on Dec. 12 2009 at 1:59 pm
AHHH so amazing i really luv it like it is my child.. hope the world experiences this angel...

on Jul. 2 2009 at 5:11 am
xXxFallingTearsxXx GOLD, Cottonwood, Idaho
12 articles 0 photos 148 comments
awsome job on this poem!!! i really love this it, it's just so amazing. keep it up!!!

Richa BRONZE said...
on Jun. 15 2009 at 10:26 pm
Richa BRONZE, Brampton, Ontario, Other
2 articles 0 photos 9 comments
Thanks Hiba and Nayr139, your comments did help me gain more confidence to write better.. :)



Yes bluejay I thought so too abt the flow once i was done writing the poem..but it was too late..didnt want to change the feel to it by changing words..but surely you'll find better flow in my forthcoming poems..thanks for your analysis =)



amyxu, thanks for your views on the poem..i did not intend to make it sound like a rap song..lol..the thought amused me..as i had never really thought abt this.. ;) interesting though..lol..thanks again

amyxu said...
on Jun. 15 2009 at 7:13 pm
Insightful. At first, with the rhyme scheme and the meter and all, it kind of sounded like a rap song (no offense, that interpretation was probably just me!). I like the thought-provoking themes incorporated into this poem.

on Jun. 2 2009 at 1:07 am
bluejay31 SILVER, Scottsdale, Arizona
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments
Hey, this is really good. I really enjoyed it...but I do think that you needed to add more flow to it. But overall, I enjoyed it! :)

Ryan M. said...
on May. 30 2009 at 1:59 am
I really like this. Great job.

Hiba S said...
on May. 30 2009 at 1:07 am
woww mindblwing....superb!!!

amazing....

dnt hv the wrdz to express how gud it is!!!

gud wrk richa!!

KEEP IT UP :)


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