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Worthless

Have you ever felt so helpless?
Like you were good for nothing but taking up space?
Have you ever felt trapped?
Claustrophobic of your life?
Unable to see,
Anything but the facts of your worthlessness?
Unable to hear,
Any words accept ‘you mean nothing’?
Unable to taste,
Anything but the metal barrel of a gun in between your lips?
Unable to smell,
Anything but the rotting of your soul?
Unable to feel,
Anything but the pain in your heart?
I remember thinking to myself late at night,
About how the world is filled with corruptions and hate.
And how I am not even a stitch in the fabric of time.
How no matter what she will always be better than me,
And I will always take what he says to heart even as I struggle to ignore.
Have you ever come to the conclusion that death would be easier than life?
Have you ever held the gun to your chest?
Waiting to pull the trigger?
Ready to end the pain you feel every time you glance in the mirror?
Ready to end the suffering of a person who has no purpose?
I have.
I have stepped into the eyes of death and spat.
Sat on the brink of hell and laughed in its face.
I have almost given into the seduction of a knife’s sharp bite.
Almost secured the rope around my neck.
Almost stopped breathing as I lay at the bottom of a pool.
But I didn’t,
Because I was to stupid,
To afraid,
To cowardly,
To worthless,
To even kill myself.





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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Chicken--Pie said...
Jun. 1, 2009 at 6:36 pm
I've been on the edge only once. I do not ever wish to be on the edge ever again. But that doesn't mean I'm not ready for death when it comes. People are scared of death, but they shouldn't be. Death is nothing. Life's the hard part. Most people belive in the "soul" but I don't think the "soul" exists. Character, awareness, intelligence, instinct, adrenaline - but not a "soul". Those things combined form what a "soul" is. Some people say that there's no dignity in death, but... (more »)
 
sadisticpsycho said...
May 28, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Yes it is all true. I as a writer believe in your poem. I have felt that way for a long time now. But through my poems I can express it. You’ve made a beautiful piece of work.
 
heartless replied...
Apr. 23, 2010 at 3:10 pm
 i did feel that way i feft that way i ways have even now i never thoug there many like meh i did cut my feel i do it every time i cut my skin it doesnt even hurt  pain i am used to it i did try ti kill my self i say ever time i dont care of this worthless live i no one it like no one care but to tell u i am a ghost to my family even if it hurt to say it true i feel alone emocional but hey there a lot of ways to die  i wanted a better live then i had now tell would u even dare to ... (more »)
 
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