Why ?

When you look through my eyes,
you'll see who i really am,
a person with no ties,
meaningless,defenceless
closed, isolated
in pain and sorrow,
not knowing where i came from,
not knowing where to go.
Its like a live in a world
so foreign to me,
i live in pain, and no one can see.
Why ? Why ?
is this world so cruel ?
why is it against me,
why am i all alone ?
it has never been fair,
it has never been easy,
i want to give up,
but for some reason it wont let me.
i feel cheated, im scared,
im sick and tired,
and when the day ends
i just want to retire.
My heart is in pieces,
my life is a mess,
but for some reason it feels good,
i know that it shouldnt,
and the world will never know,
how i get through it.