I feel like the whole world is watching me. Tehy anticipate my every move. I am the most predictable person they "know." They all know my story whether it came from my lips, or not. They know me even better than I. The reality is that no matter how good I do, I still get questioned. Get your own life. Get out of my mind and start living in your own. Your opinions shouldn't matter, yet somehow they still phase me. My thoughts have gone public. And, not because they left my mouth, but because they are written in my eyes. My fears are on display across my face, and yet, no matter how happy I truly am, every night, you seem to force me back to square one. Is the world really that judgemental? You see, what you don't realize is that I am stronger. I may nay not show it in my demeanor, but neither do you. While you come off as a mean person, underneath all that fake stuff is a tortutured, weak, self-conscious person. But, you see, I can only show my weak points, but all the way through, I am real and I am able to be the bigger person. And, even though you are weak, I don't feel sorry for you. How does it feel that everyone is watching you?
May 19, 2009