I don't know what to do now,
I'm angry and unhappy and tired
and frustrated

I feel beat down and unwanted,
Even though everyone is so close,
But now, even though I know my feelings

I feel blank

I want to wreck and destroy,
will that make me feel better?
Maybe.

Anything is better than this state,

I cant handle it, its not pretty,
It's not anything to admire,
and I don't even want anything to do with it,

my breath in and out,
the room is suffocating me,
when will this end, will my emotions come back?

Can I be myself again?

I want to yell and scream
I can picture the act and the feeling of relief
but have I forgotten how to feel
it doesn't feel like me

I remember my anger
do I feel sad? Did I hurt the other?
Do I feel like apologizing?

No.

I'm lying to myself
I don't understand it
will I forget this sensation?

The feeling is coming back?
Yes.
The people I know who love me
are here with me in my heart

they hold the pieces of my box
the box with my everything

they each stole a piece when we met
they each kept a piece when they left
they each hid a piece when I changed

when will I get it back?
Do I deserve to get it back
my precious emotions?

Will I change enough for them to return it
they will know when I have earned the right to get it back
they will protect it until I am strong enough
because I am so weak

There is no ending to this poem
I am still recovering my emotions
but until I have earned the right
I remain emotionless.