Table for One

May 8, 2009
What did I ever do to her? Why must I sit alone? Why must I feel this burst of sorrow, running through my bones? Everyone is glaring at me, oh no my cheeks are getting red. Why must my embarrassment show in such a dark shade of red? Every night I silently sob, trying to drain myself of tears. I feel like I’ve been on this endless train of rumors, gossip for years. We used to be best friends, until I apparently did something wrong. I still remember the day you came up to me and called me names, while I just sat and wondered what I did wrong. I warned the others to not listen to you, for you were spreading rumors. But I knew at the bottom of my heart that I would soon no longer have any friends to warn. You won; you got them on your team. Your Nasty rumors and gossip are the reason my heart just ripped a seam. I feel my heart slowly breaking apart, piece-by-piece, and day-by-day, the puzzle falls apart. The pieces are scattered and hidden for me to find. And the only problem is, I feel like I’ve lost my mind. I have forgotten how to laugh, enjoy life, and have fun as I sit alone for the 6th day in a row. My eyes become damp with tears, as I see my old friend’s faces turn red with laughter, as they watch me eat my lunch alone. I hid my face, and wipe my tears, but it’s no use, now the whole school knows. I run out of the lunchroom, and hide in the bathroom trying to fix my makeup. In class, I sit in the back, so know one will be able to turn around and stare. I hear stories about me. Oh, so blatantly told. I feel another tear run down my cheek as I walk slowly home alone. When my parents ask, “How was your day?” I simply say “Okay” and walk away, for I do not want them to feel the pain that I am in. I know that one day these problems will all go away, but until then, I guess it will just be a table for one.

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