Change.

I need a change.
Something strong that empowers me.
Something I can taste, smell, feel, touch.
Something new to breathe.
I can't find what I'm looking for but I didn't even realize I was searching.
Until now.
It's an adventure waiting to happen. I can almost feel the adrenaline rushing through my limbs, tingling my senses and teasing me of something good to come.
So now I start my journey.
I'll walk my own way, marking each step with an element or excuse I've used up until this point. Each mile will be mapped, delicately but with imprisoning words I've been meaning to get off my chest. And with each stride I take, I will shed my old skin, hoping for it to regrown with something new, something beautiful and definitely something changed.

But I'm terrified of change. Changing my routine, personality, clothes, habits, the way I live my life. Who wants to change everything about themselves? I keep trying to convince myself I love myself, I love my life. But I don't. And therefore, it's time to change.
Personally, I don't know what scares me more. Reinventing my existence or staying seventeen forever. If I don't do this now, I don't think I ever will.
But I don't think I am strong enough. I need somebody, anybody to brainwash me with positive vibes.
I want to be high of something better. Something luscious that I'd lust over. Something to change my ways.
Change my mind, tackle my thoughts, infect my words. Give me something, someone, anything!
Inflict me with the illness of love, passion, truth, and honesty. Take away the negativity and bring me something big! Something bold!
Give me anything and everything.
This is my cry for help.
I'm not asking for your sympathy, I'm just looking for a reason to sit down and enjoy a symphony. Show me what it takes to have empathy, not apathy.
I just need something.
I need a change.