change in me

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At first I was nice,
I was so nice
To everyone I met
I flashed a smile
I said, “Hello!”
Because I was so bent
On winning their affection
This audience of peers
I wanted them to love me
With affection, love, and cheers
About my strong morale center
How I’d never tell a lie
That I was the kind of man
You could look in the eye.
But once the day was over
And my smile had lost its place
I went home disenchanted
For I was but another face
I had a reputation
Of being rather swell
But really on the inside
I was just a hollow shell

And I am cheerful
And I am civil
And I am smiling
And I am fake
This is not me
This righteous person
And so I took a break

I gave up on nice,
It was so nice
To be a human being
With all my old
Faults and flaws
I was the real thing
Relaxed, also unfocused
The gleaming imperfection
It’s what the people wanted,
It gave the right impression,
I would joke shamelessly
About anything at all
My old morals broken
My virtues all would fall
And once the day was over
I would go home with a grin
Because I knew my character
Was coming from within
Everything was easier
Everything was…chill
I had laxed my standards
But I had no shell to fill

And I am lazy
And I am heartless
And I am sinful
And I still won
And Without virtue
Or good intention
I can tell you
It is a lot more fun

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